There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
