I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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