wrigley field is MILF paradise
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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