why didn't you poke me back
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
