He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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