Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
