No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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