yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
