life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
