You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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