I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
