The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
