SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
