butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
