Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
