Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
