You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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