I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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