We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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