if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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