I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
