Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I need a beard to bite.
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