Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
