It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
