I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
