piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
