the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
