on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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