it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
