is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
