Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
