My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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