Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
