just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
