I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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