you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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