Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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