dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
