So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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