So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
