I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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