It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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