yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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