Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
