I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
