If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
