your thong is hanging out like whoa
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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