Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
