Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
