it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
