dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
